Last week, I started sharing the most important and damaging behavioural patterns that could be holding you back in life. Did you recognise any in yourself and are you beginning to implement new patterns that open the door for your best life? Thanks to the Coaching Institute for the informative seminar on this topic.
6. The doorway to your heart is closed
In order to live a truly fulfilled life, embrace vulnerability and authenticity. To truly connect to people, being vulnerable can inspire and lead others in a way that just being ‘powerful’ or ‘strong’ cannot. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you are overly emotional and illogical, it means that you share the ups and downs and don’t just paint a picture that everything in life is perfect. And that is more than okay. No one’s life is perfect and people will connect more with you if they know your story and you keep the door to your true self open. Being vulnerable and authentic actually makes people think that you are strong and brave to share and be open, therefore making you more relatable and, hence, more successful. Ask yourself this: Where in your life can you be more honest and open about through thoughts and feelings?
7. Others greater than self
When people consistently put others ahead of themselves, this is an indicator of low self-esteem, having a fear of ‘being found out’ and/or getting significance through helping others. Often it is a pattern of behaviour to avoid working on yourself. Identify if any of these may be true for you and then start focusing the effort you would put on others into yourself. Be your own best friend and work on treating yourself the way you do others in your life. You are your best asset and will never reach true happiness and success if you’re holding yourself back and putting others first. A healthy amount of selfishness is necessary to achieve.
8. Self greater than others
Maybe you’re excellent at looking after yourself, and put your own needs in front of others on a consistent basis. Just as I said in point 7 about a healthy level of selfishness, a healthy level of compassion, empathy and selflessness is also crucial. These people who see themselves as greater than others might come across as self-absorbed but often have self-esteem issues. To have success in business and life, focus on what value you can give others, not just what you can get. Lifting each other up means lifting higher. Sometimes, we need to stop focusing thoughts on ourselves all the time and start thinking about others and how we can support, encourage and assist those around us.
9. Universal fears
There are three universal human fears – not being loved, not being good enough and not belonging. One of those fears will usually be more dominant than the other for a person and will be the deeper underlying reason why they might be stuck or have difficulty in life in a certain area. Identify which fear may be holding you back and then make enough reference points of success that you believe in yourself. For example, if you have a belief that your business will not be a success because you are not good enough, start to make small achievable steps towards your business goals. By committing to achieving actionable steps, your self-worth will improve. Most people are not living their most fulfilling life because of listening to these fears. The only real fear (excluding legitimate physical fears) is of not knowing what is going to happening next. Embrace that you don’t know how things are going to turn out and keep taking action towards your goals. I’ve written another post about Sabotaging Success and the 3 Universal Fears here.